Raising a child is not an easy task, doubts and insecurities are always around the corner, waiting for the right moment to assault us. Have I done well? Will I have gotten over with the punishment? Maybe my words were too harsh? These and other questions often haunt the minds of parents, especially when they are new to these issues.
However, before going one step further and talking about the bad examples that we can give our children, it is essential to make clear that it is impossible not to be wrong. Early childhood education is a path that is not without errors, so it is better not to push yourself too hard and not aspire to perfection. Still, there are some blunders that it would be best to avoid at all costs as they have very negative repercussions on the development of children.
Contradictory opinions among parents
The discrepancy of criteria between parents is one of the biggest mistakes that can be made in the education of a child. Sometimes we don’t even realize it and phrases like: ” Better ask your mom ” or ” Ask your dad for permission ” escape us . In fact, these phrases often indicate to children that one parent does not match the criteria of the other.
Even worse is the fact that one of the parents allows the child to do things that the other prevents because in this way the child will feel confused and will not have a model to respect. Also, we must not forget that children are very intelligent and can use these contradictions to obtain what they want and manipulate one of the parents. Therefore, when educating a child, parents must face a common front.
Lack of consistency in the rules
The education of a child is a process that lasts 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. It does not matter if the child is at home, in the supermarket or in the park, that you have arrived exhausted from work or that you feel bad, the rules you impose must remain unchanged.
This means that you should avoid responding in a nasty way to your child just because you had a bad day at work, or that one day you decide to punish what you allowed the day before. Ground rules must always be adhered to, changing the rules mid-game just because you’re not in a good mood is not a good example. In this way, you will not only be confusing the child but you will also convey the idea that emotions are an excuse for certain behaviors. Obviously, that doesn’t encourage your emotional self-control.
Insult and humiliate
It is not strange that in a moment of anger we say things that we later regret. In fact, sometimes we are not fully aware of the impact of our words, but the truth is that they can leave wounds, especially when a single behavior denigrates the child. For example, if the little one slipped the cup with the milk, you should not say things like ” you are clumsy ” because it is an appellation that encompasses his entire personality and that can affect his image of himself.
In the same way, it is not convenient for you to insult other people in front of the little one because he will think that it is a valid way of relating, when in reality it is not. If you ever get angry and miss a humiliating phrase or insult, apologize immediately. This way your child will learn that we can all make mistakes but that it is important to have the humility to rectify.